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The Derrière Garde at Day de Dada Baby Shower/Birthday Party 2006!

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TDG with Katie ETG
On Saturday, June 3, 2006 (2:00 to 4:00 pm) at ETG Book Café (208 Bay Street, Staten Island), The Derrière Garde made a featured appearance at "Day de Dada Baby Shower/Birthday Party" — an event organized (once again) by Day de Dada, in celebration of the 90th birthday of Dada.

The Derrière Garde performed his brief ritual throughout the event, providing his fundamental cautionary advice to attendees and participants alike in (mostly) one-on-one interaction during the course of the day. (As always, specific CYA guidelines and individual consultation were also available upon request.) An estimated 25 persons were duly warned. See documentation below. He also distributed to the attendees his new business card, printed in mainland China. (Yes, TDG endorses outsourcing.)

Prior to the delivery of Baby Dada by Mama Dada, which took place live and on stage that afternoon, The Derrière Garde — accompanied by Allergic to B's (a/ka/ Joan and Garry Moore, below, right) — performed the world premiere of the "lost" original version of a Cole Porter classic, revealing that Porter had been a closet Dadaist: "My Art Belongs to Dada."
I used to fall in love with all
those art forms that
lay claim to beauty,
but now I find I'm most inclined
To keep my mind
on my duty —
Since I've begun to share
In such a complex affair . . .

Though I'm in love, I'm not above
a date with a gal who wears Prada;
it's just a pose, 'cause my baby knows
that my Art belongs to Dada.

Eloping off
with someone rich and soft
I might make a run for the ladder,
but if I do I won't follow through,
'cause my Art belongs to Dada.

(Chorus)
Yes, my Art belongs to Dada
so it simply couldn't be bad;
oh, my Art belongs to Dada —
Dada, Dada, Dada, Dada, Dada!

Oh, I hate to make you sadder,
for I know that you're perfectly swell,
but my Art belongs to Dada
because Dada treats it so well!

(Instrumental w. kazoo and two ukeleles)

If I invite a tootsie some night
to dine on my jumbo-shrimp platter,
I just adore her asking for more
but my Art belongs to Dada.

When some Girl Scout
up and asks me out
to snack on her tapenade
my baby's sure, her love is secure
'cause my Art belongs to Dada.

(Chorus)
Yes, my Art belongs to Dada
so it simply couldn't be bad;
oh, my Art belongs to Dada —
Dada, Dada, Dada, Dada, Dada!

Oh, I hate to make you sadder,
for I know that you're perfectly swell,
but my Art belongs to Dada
because Dada treats it so well!

(Instrumental w. kazoo and two ukeleles)

If this honey pleads
and speaks of her needs
and begs for my hot enchilada,
her Spanish rice may be all very nice,

but my Art belongs to Dada.


So if you feel romantic, Jada,
let me warn you right from the start
that my Art belongs to Dada
and my Dada belongs to my Art.

(Chorus)
Yes, my Art belongs to Dada
so it simply couldn't be bad!
Yes, I'm gonna marry Dada —
Dada, Dada, Dada, Dada, Dada!

Oh, I hate to make you sadder,
for I'm sure that you're perfectly swell;
but my Art belongs to Dada
because Dada treats it so well!

(Instrumental w. kazoo and two ukeleles)

The bourgeois were aghast
at our scorn for the past
and our unruly acts made them madder;
we had the first laugh,
and now have the last,
at the high auction prices for Dada.

I see you, pard,
down there laughing so hard
you might lose control of your bladder;
well, if you do, it's no shame on you —
sign that puddle and call it Dada!

Everybody sing:

(Chorus)
Yes, our Art belongs to Dada
so it simply couldn't be bad!
Oh, our Art belongs to Dada —
Dada, Dada, Dada, Dada, Dada!

Now, we hate to make you sadder,
for we know that you're perfectly swell,
but our Art belongs to Dada
because Dada treats it so well!

(Instrumental w. kazoo and two ukeleles while leaving stage)


Performance photographs © copyright 2006 by Steve Jones. All rights reserved.
Click on thumbnails for enlargements.

Then, immediately upon the successful delivery of the blessed Baby Dada, The Derrière Garde provided the newborn with his traditional caution. (You can't start 'em too early with this.) Yes, Mama Dada (Viv Vassar) gave birth to a real rocking horse, right before our very eyes on the ETG Café stage! And we've got the photos to prove it. TDG took particular pride in extending this warning welcome to the l'il equine; he has never had the honor of providing his service to one so young. This opens his eyes to the possibility of bringing his services to the young.



© Copyright 2006 by A. D. Coleman. All rights reserved.
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