Comrades
a
novel by Earl Coleman
Chapter 4
Even though she
had prepared herself for many days, now with Joel
just home from school and having his milk and crackers
she had to force herself to speak to him. She turned
the range burner down to a simmer, covered the pot
and went into the dining room to sit beside Joel.
He was reading Huckleberry Finn (He read so
much! All his father's books and so much more!) but
closed the book when she sat beside him. How he was
growing. He was almost as tall as she. Skinny like
his father. He was so handsome with Sam's face, but
he had her mouth which pouted a little, his nose not
beaked but slim and straight like hers. His coloring
-- he would look like his papa. His face was still
forming, not yet defined. The chin was already hers,
stubborn; his dark eyes, Sam's.
"So, Joel.
How was school today?" She smoothed his hair
and caressed his cheek.
"Mama. You
already asked me."
"Yes, yes,
I did. I remember now. Hah." She could feel herself
blushing like a girl.
"Do you have
to make calls this afternoon, mama?"
"No. Not
this afternoon. This afternoon I make only the most
delicious supper -- your favorites, stuffed cabbage
and potato latkes."
"Oh, yummy."
He smiled at her broadly.
His face suddenly
looked older to her. How fast. "Also, for supper
we're having a guest."
"Oh -- is
Mottel coming for supper?"
"No. Not
Mottel."
"It's Grandpa
and Grandma Lieberman?" he asked less avidly.
"No."
She felt awkward, silly. She was a grown woman --
it was ridiculous.
"Is it a
secret?" His eyes sparkled.
"No Joel.
It's Doctor Gitomer. You've never met him."
The smile was
gone in an instant. "A doctor? Are you sick?"
"No, no,
my darling. For supper. He's coming for supper."
"But . .
. " now he was confused and did not know how
to continue and instead finished his milk, thinking.
"You know,
Joel, we see so few people. You have your friend Mikey
and you see him every day, and Mottel takes you out.
I don't see anyone."
"And Doctor
. . . "
"Gitomer."
"Doctor Gitomer
is your friend?" He looked puzzled.
"I think
he may become my friend."
He bit a fresh
cracker in two. "Are you going to marry him?"
"Joel! We
met once! Once! In his office. We're having a meal
together, not a wedding supper."
Joel looked at
his mother to try to see her anew but he couldn't.
She was his mother. She was married to his father.
This was a mystery. "I don't like stuffed cabbage
that much," he said.
"Oh, Joel.
I thought it was your favorite." She pulled him
from his seat so that he stood beside her and she
pressed him to her with her arms around his slender
waist, her face up against his skinny ribs. "Do
your homework and you can stay up with us a little
late. OK?"
"OK, mama,"
he kissed her cheek, wanting briefly to hug her but
didn't. He went to his room and took his bow and arrows
from under the bed as well as the cheesebox with his
doughboys who now protected six quarters, four dimes,
some nickels and several pennies. He studied his treasures
and then replaced them. He opened his exercise book
and began with arithmetic, but he couldn't concentrate.
*
Rachel got up
to clear the table. "May I help?" Leonard
asked. "No, no. Joel usually helps but I'd like
for just the two of you to talk together for a while.
It's no trouble for me to clean." She removed
the tureen first, with the ladle still in it, not
hurrying, slowing in fact, so they could get to speak,
and yet every minute flying. She had felt this way
with Sam, especially during those first years, but
then she was a kid! Leonard was the way she had remembered
him, gentle, warm. She knew from his letter that he
had a command of words but she had not expected him
to be so learned. She was sure Sam would have liked
him -- or would he? No, she was not sure.
"What grade
are you in, Joel?" They sat opposite each other.
"The fifth."
Joel had not really participated in the conversation
all evening, even though some of the discussion was
about him. Ever since he had met this mild, handsome
man, who reminded him somehow of his father, he had
felt like an object they were pointing to, a book.
"Do you take
history yet?"
"Just beginning."
"Do they
start with Biblical times? Do they teach about the
diaspora?"
"Not the
-- what's the word you used -- diaspora?"
"Ah. That
is history you have to learn for yourself," he
said, between puffs on his pipe.
"Do they
teach Indian history?" Joel asked.
"You mean
about the Pilgrims? Oh yes. I was talking about Jewish
history. Do you know any?"
"No, sir."
"You don't
know any?"
"No, sir."
Leonard nodded
and pulled on his pipe. "Don't you learn Jewish
history at cheder?"
"I don't
go to cheder."
Leonard stopped
puffing for a moment, his pipe held in mid-air. "How
will you be bar-mitzvahed?"
"I don't
know. I didn't like cheder." Then he said something
quite daring. "Anyway, I'm only Jewish because
my father was."
Leonard looked
at him, puzzled. "Your mother's not?"
"No. I mean
my father was really a Mohawk." Now he had said
it, but suddenly he wasn't certain of it.
"An Indian?"
Leonard paused again. "Is that why you wanted
to know if they taught Indian history in school?"
"Yes. sir."
Leonard nodded
and thought for a while, as Rachel collected the silverware
(from the good set). "No, Joel," he said
"they don't teach Indian history, not in the
sense you mean it." He paused and regarded Joel
over his pipe which he puffed at quietly. "Then
your father wasn't really Jewish?"
"No, sir.
He was adopted." Joel watched carefully, waiting
to see how his mother's guest would react. He had
never told this to anyone but Mikey and Mottel before,
but now it was said and in the open.
"You believe
you're a Mohawk then, at least on your father's side,
and only half Jewish."
Joel nodded his
head, meeting Leonard's eyes defiantly, waiting for
some way to measure things, he did not know what.
"Well, Indians
and Jews have a great deal in common, of course,"
he said. Rachel took the tablecloth off, the oak shining
from the polishing of the afternoon. She brought the
tablecloth into the kitchen. She listened, her heart
pounding.
"They . .
. do?"
"Indeed.
They have both been persecuted, driven from their
land by stronger, more heavily armed invaders. Do
you know about the Aztecs and the Incas who once ruled
large, rich kingdoms in Mexico and Peru until the
Spanish came and enslaved them? They were Indians
too. Because your father was a Mohawk you may think
that all Indians are Mohawks, but there are Indian
tribes all over the hemisphere." He could see
that he had captured Joel's attention.
"Invaders
who have new weapons, new ways of fighting, can defeat
whole countries. Perhaps some day you'll learn about
the brave Jews at Masada, outnumbered and out-armed
by the specially trained Roman legions. Because I
am a Jew I am more familiar with the history of Jews
than Indians."
"My father
agreed to be Jewish even though it's hard to be Jewish
and he was only adopted," Joel said, determined
to see it through.
"Yes. It
is hard to be Jewish. When I was growing up I had
to fight kids almost every day who wanted to beat
me up because I was Jewish." Rachel had now joined
them at the table, her apron off, color in her cheeks.
"Do you have to fight too?"
"Yes. A lot. Mikey and me. Sometimes by myself."
"Is Mikey
an Indian too?"
"No. He's
Jewish."
Leonard nodded
and refilled his pipe. "And what if you explained
to them that you're really a Mohawk? At least on your
father's side?"
"I wouldn't
do that. My father agreed to be Jewish. So I do too."
"I have no
choice," Leonard said. "I am one."
Rachel looked
from one to the other. "So serious. The two of
you sitting like Yeshivabochers in a shul."
"The two
of us are serious people," Leonard said, "and
these are serious times. Henry Ford is financing the
Protocols of Zion, an anti-Semitic nonsense;
the Dreyfus case was twenty years ago and the French
just yesterday had anti-Semitic riots. Here in the
United States Jews are hated -- many businesses won't
hire Jews, hate Jews . . . "
"The A&P,"
said Joel.
"Yes,"
Leonard nodded, "and many others. In serious
times, Rachel, serious people must discuss these matters."
He took a moment to ream out his pipe, noticing that
Joel tensed when he had used his mother's name.
"Are you
an American?" Joel asked.
"Joel!"
Rachel said.
"I'm second
generation. I was a medical Lieutenant in the AEF."
"You were!?
Did you see action?"
"I hope I
don't disappoint you, Joel, but all I saw was Paris.
I don't believe medical officers do see action but
I'm glad I didn't. I don't know how heroic I would
have been and I'm not sorry that I never had to find
out. They took me in 1918 just as I was graduating
from med school, put some bars on my collar and sent
me off to France. When they demobbed me almost a year
later I opened my practice. No battles to tell about.
Just the battle to survive as a Jew in these serious
times, even in the Army."
Rachel flushed.
"Was it hard starting a practice?" she asked.
He was an older man. Probably forty.
"I had to
make up for the year I wasted, and I had family debts
to pay. And yet -- it's my country, with a thousand
opportunities. I didn't object to being called up
for service and don't now, with all the anti-Semitism
I experienced, even as an officer."
"I've got
a collection of AEF tin soldiers," Joel said,
"No officers, but a lot of non-coms and doughboys."
"Did you
know, Joel, that one of the great heroes of the war
was an Indian non-com? A sergeant whose name was York.
There has been much written about him. I'll bring
a book for you the next time I see you."
Joel stiffened.
Then Doctor Gitomer and his mother were going
to be friends. If they got married would Doctor Gitomer
be his father? But his father was dead! There was
nobody who could be his father except his father.
Joel remembered Cinderella and Hansel and Gretel.
Doctor Gitomer would be his stepfather. He
looked at his mother incredulously. How could she
let anything like that happen to him!?
"I've got
to finish my homework," he said, and rose hurriedly
from the table.
Leonard rose too.
"It's been a pleasure talking with you, Joel.
I hope I see you again. Soon."
"Goodnight,
my darling Joel." Rachel kissed and embraced
him, feeling him tense.
He didn't study
in his room. He stared at the cracks in the window
shade.
*
As she was stuffing
the cabbage that afternoon, she had decided that when
Joel went to his room after supper she and Leonard
would sit in the living room on the couch and listen
to the Victrola. She didn't know how else to entertain
him! Now she played "Deep in the Heart of a Rose,"
a long-time favorite. (Joel, who had been on the verge
of falling asleep, felt an immediate pang. How could
she share this family memory of theirs with a stranger?
Was Dr. Gitomer really going to be his stepfather?
The pain remained as his eyes closed.)
They sat at opposite
ends of the couch. She felt flushed, almost faint.
"So," she said, "I promised we'd talk
about you and all night we've talked about us, Joel
and me. I'm ashamed."
"Rachel.
It's OK. There's time." McCormack's tenor rose.
"We're sitting. Talking to each other. There's
time."
She felt the sureness
he carried. It buoyed her, gladdened her spirit, made
her feel a smile. "I liked it that you talked
to Joel seriously. He's such a serious boy. The way
he talks -- like a grown-up. A student. An A student
-- more than that -- a walking library.
"His father
always talked to him the same way -- seriously. With
Sam everything was serious. He even took seriously
his Mohawk mishugas and gave it to Joel -- wait, I'm
doing it again! Leonard, what will you think of me?"
She blushed and shook her head from side to side,
half-smiling. The McCormack ended and Rachel changed
to the "Humoresque" with Elman playing,
Rachel flustered and pleased to have something to
do.
"Joel remains
much attached to his father, I can see," he said.
"I think he still believes a little that his
father was a Mohawk, and he too. It has its own truth,
very touching. I understand it. I'm just as serious
about being Jewish -- not that I'm orthodox or even
very religious. No. But I am Jewish. I feel it the
way Joel feels he's a Mohawk. A handsome boy."
"Thank you."
She flushed. "I was going to say 'Yes, like Sam,'
but I promise, no more. Would you like some tea? I
made a small chocolate cake. If Joel had stayed up
he could have shared it with us, but he left so suddenly."
Leonard nodded
and took the pipe from his mouth. "He remembers
his father and you together, Rachel. He thinks of
me as an intruder in his life. Not in yours, I hope."
He reached his hand out and she held hers out too
so that their hands clasped in the center of the couch.
"No, Leonard. Not an intruder. You will be my
friend?"
"Yes. I will
be your friend." He released her hand.
"I'll make
us some tea." She went to the kitchen, her face
flaming, the record having come to its end and repeating
its revolving noise. While she put the water on to
boil Leonard changed to "Dardanella." When
she returned he was sitting in the center of the couch.
She hesitated for the briefest of moments and sat
beside him. He took her face in his hands, turned
her head toward his and kissed her passionately, his
hands holding her face, the two of them motionless,
the moment plucked from time. She broke away and found
herself sobbing.
"Rachel .
. . did I . . . "
"No, no,
Leonard," she gasped. "It's only . . . am
I going to cry whenever I see you? . . . no, it's
too . . . "
"Too soon?
Too quickly?"
"No, Leonard,
not that. No." She had stopped crying. "I
had forgotten. It's so good to feel. I'm embarrassed.
You'll think I'm fast."
He took her hand
again. "No, Rachel, I'm still afraid you'll think
I'm slow. I wanted to kiss you that day in my office
months ago and it took until now."
She pressed his
hand. "I was too busy crying that day."
She smiled shyly, her face still wet, as the teapot
whistle blew. He turned off the Victrola and when
she came back with the tea she found him standing
as Sam used to, at the window, staring out. It startled
her.
They had their
tea and cake at the dining table sitting beside each
other, Rachel quite melted. "Chocolate is my
favorite," he said.
"Joel's too." She hesitated. "If .
. . when . . . you know what I mean -- if we're friends
-- I was reading Doctor Holt -- it could affect Joel.
It seemed to tonight. Do you know what I'm saying?"
Leonard kissed
her cheek and pressed her head against his shoulder.
"You are a person, Rachel, who is also a parent.
Does Doctor Holt tell you that? Not only a
parent, even though I respect that -- I did want to
be one so badly."
"Oh, Leonard
. . . I'm so sorry . . . ." she took his hand.
"No, no.
I've done my crying."
"What was
her name, Leonard, your wife?"
"Her name,"
and he paused for a second, "my wife was called
Naomi."
They sat quietly,
their hands still clasped, both caught up now in their
own thoughts. "I should be going, Rachel. We
both have work tomorrow. I have to be at the hospital
at 7:30." She thought briefly to protest but
didn't.
At the door he
took her into his arms and they held each other fast.
He whispered into her ear. "L'chaim, Rachel,"
he said. "Welcome to my life."
She kissed him,
standing on tip-toe to do so. "Welcome to mine."
*
When Mottel wasn't
chewing his toothpick he was smoking, with a fierce
intensity that even so never burned fully, a thin,
short man, of enormous emotional energy seen by the
world only as dour, angry, impatiently waiting. Except
with Joel. Joel and Mottel were together a great deal,
for Mottel was often in the middle of slack time and
enjoyed late afternoons with his young friend. Joel
was growing to look so like Sam. Sometimes they played
checkers; frequently they walked, talking politics,
Socialist politics. Joel knew almost as much by now
about the ins and outs of Socialist politics as men
able to vote, and argued doctrine and position with
a certain skill.
Mottel didn't
laugh often, not because he was humorless but because
everything was serious! The passion he felt was masked
by his sullen face. He read voraciously, like Sam,
but concentrated on tracts, leaflets, pamphlets, tiny
Socialist or radical tabloids that burst into print
with their pent-up flame and died after two issues.
He could quote Debs, Norman Thomas, Jay Lovestone.
Sometimes he took Joel to hear their speeches at Cooper
Union on weekends, and then they would walk the streets
of Manhattan analyzing what they had heard until they
took the train to bring Joel back to the Bronx in
time for supper. Joel could quote from the speeches
themselves, travelling through the Manhattan tunnels.
They talked of
Joel's father often. "Your father," Mottel
might say, "your father, Joel, did everything
with joy. He had a gift for that. For him a serious
thing could also be a joy. Even struggle, the struggle
of the working class, was to him of course serious
but a joy. To me," he would say, coughing violently,
"not a joy. A deadly serious business."
Sometimes he would
talk to Joel about his memories of the Russia of his
youth, the shtetl, a pogrom that had almost
cost him his life except that he had hidden in the
shit of the outhouse during the noise and the burning
and the killing that went on half the night. He had
only been six but the memory lived with him fresh.
The Tsar of course was now dead, but Lenin too was
dead. And yet there was a nation, imagine, a whole
nation where they had Socialism. Even in America they
had a Socialist Party which he had finally joined,
even though he was still apprehensive about the Palmer
raids, the hostility against unions of any kind, the
spies he fancied were everywhere, the thought of Sacco
and Vanzetti recently railroaded to the electric chair.
"Your father was brave, Joel -- if I could have
half his bravery. I'm always thinking. Thinking, you
understand. Fearful! Your father did. A risk, sometimes
-- but it counted. I miss him. You of course miss
him. The world, believe me, misses him. Your father."
It was rare that
Joel contributed to stories about his father. He listened
and absorbed. The listening helped him remember. .
. . They were at Sunday breakfast. A matjes
herring, some sliced carp, pot cheese, poppyseed rolls.
They were reading the funny papers together. His mother,
laughing over her tea, suddenly went to his father,
sat in his lap and kissed him, blushed red as a beet
and went back to her chair and burst out crying and
then hugged him, Joel, so tight that he thought he'd
break.
This Saturday
afternoon they were dressed for the winter, Joel in
long underwear and a sweater and a coat on top of
that, plus a plaid scarf around his throat and a hat
with ear muffs which he hated and always wore turned
up. Mottel wore an extra sweater under his jacket
and a cloth cap, his only concessions to harsh weather.
They walked uptown from Cooper Union.
"That last
one, Joel -- that Hillquit, I don't trust. Something
-- I don't know. He looks like a boss. Like
he eats too regular." They crossed Fourteenth
Street and passed Klein's, busy with streams of shoppers.
"I gave you a pamphlet last week, Joel. Lovestone.
Did you read it -- about the part young people can
play -- you had a chance?"
Joel nodded his
head yes and watched his breath become visible as
he blew air through his lips.
"Very quiet
today, Joel. Something bothering you? School?"
Mottel stopped and faced Joel, who was almost as tall
as he was.
"My mother."
"Your mother?
Something wrong?"
"She's got
. . . a boy friend."
"She does?
So?" Mottel put his hand under Joel's chin in
the cold air and looked at him intently. "She's
not entitled?" They resumed walking.
Joel didn't answer
because Mottel's question made the matter clear. His
father had told him to be strong. Kids his age were
out selling newspapers and he was able to go to school.
The world was cold and he was warm. His father had
said to take care of his mother.
"Her boy
friend is Jewish," he said.
"So what
should he be? Irish?"
"My papa
accepted to be Jewish, but he wasn't Jewish.
Do you know what I mean Mottel? I told you his stories
about being a Mohawk but that's not it either. He
worried about the world, the way it was, even about
birds and animals. Not only about being Indian, being
Jewish. You know?"
Mottel nodded
in agreement. "Know? Of course I know. This is
why he was so rare. He was a mensch, Joel.
You know how one in a million that is? Come, we'll
go in the Automat here and have some baked beans,
good in this weather."
They stood in
line at the change counter, which always fascinated
Joel. You would give the lady any large coin. She
would flick her wrist and out would fly exactly the
right change in nickels, like magic. Even three quarters
-- three flicks. Mottel gave her one quarter and simultaneously
five nickels hit the marble indentation. The restaurant
was a forest of tiny windows, where you went to the
window you chose, dropped in one or two nickels and
you opened the window and took out your food. You
got napkins and silverware from huge dispensers. The
baked beans had a sort of skin on it and came in a
brown cup and a small strip of bacon lay on the very
top. It was so good.
When they were
seated Mottel said, "You'd have to be crazy,
Joel, not to be worried being Jewish. We've been shlanged
for thousands of years. Indians -- of course. But
how about black people, not only Zulus in Africa but
right here, not only in the South but in the North?
Your father, who was a very wise man, would say that
we all have something in common, you know what I mean,
Joel? -- something that we share! Something we have
to respect!" His eyes glowed, incandescent, and
suddenly his glum face was lit with energy. "What
he meant was that when we worry only that we're Indian,
that we're Chinese, we are so concentrated on that,
we miss joining together to force the world to give
us what we deserve as human beings. The Bible, which
I don't often quote, tells us 'You are your brother's
keeper.' Your father knew that Joel. A good man. A
person. A mensch."
Joel's eyes stung
with tears, but he fought them back. He stirred his
beans, which were so tart and delicious. "Mottel.
My Grandma Deborah said that he killed himself.
How could he do that? Can you kill yourself?"
As he looked at Mottel he could not stop the wetness
at his eyes.
"You are
old enough to read and understand Jay Lovestone, you
are old enough to know this. Your father was willing
to be a leader, Joel. Look what has happened to us,
trying to make a union after he died. No one, there's
no one who could bring us together as he could. He
was patient. He knew things. He gave us love that
he had for us. At the end he could not blame himself
enough -- even for my being hurt. So for everything
he, and he alone, was responsible. He gave us himself,
and still he believed he failed us in the end. He
was sure he failed you and your mother. So for him
-- he failed everybody and the last straw was the
police raiding our meeting. He was afraid that if
he stayed, lived, he would fail us again. So
he killed himself to make sure he wouldn't."
He thrust his face intently across the table, his
dark eyes locked to Joel's. "You understand?"
Joel shook his
head, his mouth working. "But leaving us, Mottel.
How could this not hurt us?"
"Yes, Joel.
But staying -- he thought he might hurt us more."
"So he did
suicide."
"He drank
-- Joel, it should never happen to anyone, not even
my worst enemies -- lye. It burned up his insides."
Joel looked at him in horror and pain. "You know
how brave you have to be for this? To put an end to
living by burning yourself up because you don't want
to hurt the people you love?" And Mottel found
himself joining Joel in his tears, their hands clasped
across the table in the middle of the Automat, the
clash of nickels cascading on the marble.
In the train going
to the Bronx they sat in the rear car, watching the
black tunnel race backward to disappear. "Mottel,"
Joel said, turning his head, "what can I
do? How can I bring to the world, like my father?"
Mottel turned to Joel and took his face in his two
bony hands and kissed his forehead. "Joel, it's
time to introduce you to the world and the world to
you. It's time."
Joel looked at
him, his eyes eager, open, ready.
"I'm going
to talk to your mother first, of course. I'd like
you should join the Young Peoples Socialist League.
They will be good for you. And you, like your father,
will be good for them."
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