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(1)
Undoing the knots
one by one
like untangling an old pile of string.
I want to be at home in my body again.
(2)
I remember
watching the film
when the tears would not hold back.
It was when the beautiful boy
14-year-old gymnast
graceful as a swan
talked of being called a sissy
(fear and doubt suddenly in his eyes)
and I could not find a way
to care for him enough
or for me.
(3)
The young man looks for sensual men to imitate.
Finding none, he must choose
between hard strength
and a feeling he doesn't know well enough
to trust.
He is sad to separate from his body.
The loss is deeper than consciousness,
the pain matched only by the agony
of finding himself suddenly alone
in a thick and unexplored forest.
(4)
Who, then, will celebrate the beauty
of the man's body,
that we can love our physical selves
and not turn to women
for second-hand sensuality?
Let me be clear:
I do not wish to separate from women,
only to stop looking for them to fill
that emptiness in myself.
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