Daytimes, at rush
hour, the fantasy is that this ship, full of dancing
celebrants, will emerge from the morning mists
and pull into a city pulsing with music. Minstrels
are drawn to it, so often there's music, sometimes
even a steel-pan band.
But hardly anybody dances,
not even the tipsy prom couples who parade the
decks from midnight till dawn in the warmth of
June, strolling unrealities of tulle, giggles,
tuxedos, adolescence, wilted corsages. Only the
children, sometimes on the sunny days, stop for
a moment long enough to realize that with only
wood below their feet they're walking on water.
There are half a dozen
of these boats. Let's assume we're all in the
same one, named after someone no longer alive
-- a local politico, an explorer, an assassinated
president, perhaps a war hero. Four kinds of people
ride it. Three of those are: the tourists, the
commuters, and the hands.
For the sightseers (and
for their professional paradigms, the fashion
photographers with their models), it's a set,
a backdrop. For them the voyage ends at its beginning,
when it starts to become an experience acquired
instead of one anticipated, suddenly memorable
only for having been intercepted on film.
For the mass of riders
it's a function, a commonplace, assumed and ignored
-- a punctuation mark in their sentences. Newspapers
serve to block it out. From the cabin on the lower
deck you can see the water up close, watch the
whitecaps snap in the wind or the swells roll
calmly on balmier days. But the windows are coated
with salt crystals and grime. Almost no one looks
out.
*
They could never really
figure out how or why it happened. So they assumed
it was an accident -- that, parked there at the
front of the boat, she had inadvertently hit the
gas instead of the brake, broken through the flimsy
gates, and plunged herself and her boy into the
harbor. It took hours to hoist the car out. All
the other passengers had to change to another
boat.
*
Hard to say what this vessel
and its shuttling mean for the crew and the ferry
workers. They know it best; no one else stays
on any one boat more than twenty-five consecutive
minutes under normal circumstances. Cured in sauerkraut
steam, the ladies behind the coffee counter snarl
among themselves and avoid the eyes of customers.
The shoeshine men announce only the name of their
trade; when one of them who'd worked the boat
for twenty years came in drunk, fell off and drowned,
none of the passengers noticed his absence. The
crew does not mingle any more than is absolutely
necessary. Occasionally a pretty girl is invited
up to enjoy the view from the captain's cabin.
The fourth kind of people
who sail these ships: call them voyagers, those
who reach awareness -- if only for a moment --
of what they're really doing, of where they really
are. More often than you might expect, they're
children, inquiring into the possibility of catching
a ray of sunlight in the hand, dreaming past the
confines of a mother's devoted attention, allowing
the world to be in all its incomprehensible fullness
because they are too small to conceive of reducing
it down.
*
One weekday afternoon
at five o'clock the ferry terminal was packed
with three thousand people in office uniforms.
A legless man on a dolly wheeled himself through
this crowd, which displayed not even a faint awareness
of his distinctive presence. Then a boychild walked
straight up to him and announced in loud surprise,
"You've got no legs!" All the adults
within earshot gasped, or winced, or looked away,
discomfited. Everyone except the man on the dolly.
He knew he had no legs. He talked amiably with
the one person who had been unafraid to look him
in the eye and acknowledge that he'd seen him.
*
The older voyagers take
what they can find, depending on their inclination.
For some it's a time warp, in whose quieter spaces
they can coast past Ellis Island wearing their
grandparents' immigrant eyes, or bid adieu to
their bon voyage party and embark for the continent
on their own grand tour. Others meditate as they're
cradled on the bosom of the world. Still others
take it for what it is -- an interlude, a transition,
a few minutes' peace in which to pull oneself
together or to relax in one's hard-earned coherence.
No matter where one is
in the cycle of the hours, there's room and time
enough here for love, hate, romance, adventure,
mystery -- a floating metaphor. Day into night,
this voyage is as short as you make it, or as
long. Because it is a space apart, afloat, unmoored,
you can take it as permission to shift position,
to unlock the door and leave it slightly ajar,
to glimpse the possibilities of rage, passion,
sweetness, numbness in others, in yourself.
Will you read the short
story about that young couple with their motorcycle?
Have you time enough to open the unwritten novel
in the sad eyes of that blond woman who looks
at you and past you from her seat? Are you still
on speaking terms with the mother of liberty astride
the harbor, patiently waiting for those who yearn
to breathe free? Will you play the game of life
wherever you find it, whether it's right in front
of you or off to one side and moving fast, something
terribly important caught with the corner of your
eye?
*
Once, on a winter's
morning, the boat he took got lost in a driving
snow. There was no visibility past the edge of
the deck; when they pulled away from the dock
the world disappeared. Tasting eternity, those
on board fell silent, all listening to the spectral
foghorns converse in the white darkness. It took
an hour and a half to inch back into reality.