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Getting with the Program

Now that I’ve come back home, I have to get with the program. When people here ask what other languages I speak, I understand that according to the new social policy here in the States the politically correct answer is not French but Freedom. And that, along those same lines, when I dress up to take my girlfriend out this weekend to celebrate my return, I’ll put on a shirt with Freedom cuffs, while she’ll don some sexy Freedom lingerie and splash on a little fancy Freedom cologne. […]